evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
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I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I think I have vodka in my lungs
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
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I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
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