He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
