So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
