Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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