I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
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