This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
