you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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