Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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