I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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