it hurts more in the daytime
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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