I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
