My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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