oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
