Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize