So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
