come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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