Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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