I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
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