He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
