if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
