Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize