she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
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He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
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You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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