I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Randomize
