I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
