This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
