Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I FOUND THE LEGS
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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