Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize