i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
