I'm drive I can fine osifer
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
