Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
