So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
