come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
