There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize