that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Randomize