Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
im six kinds of drunk right now
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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