since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
