Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize