I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
what day is it and did you see me today?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
