stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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