I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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