Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
