People in love make me want to vomit
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize
