I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Randomize
