I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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