It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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