I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
