My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I'm determined to sit on that face.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
there is another microwave in the elevator.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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