I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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