Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Barsexuality is the new black.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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