Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
