I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I AM VODKA MAN
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
