help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
