Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize