hotel room ftw
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
