just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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