i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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