I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize