Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
