Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
