she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
