Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
