your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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