i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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