Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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