Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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