she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
